The Squeee

Episode 1 Here it is, the first edition of Ask Thorin , 3" Thorin's very own advice column. Without further ado, here's the man himself, answering your questions: Dear Thorin, I would like to ask Thorin if I can shampoo and condition his hair. /Collar City Brownstone

How would you react if you suddenly got a phone call from Peter Jackson's people, asking you to come out to New Zealand for a potential job offer? I was flown all the way to the other side of the world in order to play the part of Balin in The Hobbit . Despite the fact that they've already finished filming, aside from a few pick-up shots. And, crucially, despite me being a woman without acting experience . I was sitting in a theatre, or I suppose it was a studio set really, where Peter Jackson was going through things, and then he said "this is what I want you to do, Traxy". If I wanted the job, of course. He assured me accepting the job could lead to great things. I could become a kids editor!! My response to this was "kids? Meh", but if it was kids TV, why not?

FRIDAY After seeing both Wollaton Hall and central Nottingham, 3" Thorin went off to the local beer festival, despite it not being on until October. When I picked him up again to take the bus home, he was completely plastered and ended up vomiting on the pavement. Cheers for that, mate. For today, I thought I'd get him into nature, and where better to finish off our sightseeing trip than by visiting the renowned Sherwood Forest? Everyone who comes to visit us always end up getting carted up to Edwinstowe to see the Major Oak, and Thorin is certainly not going to be the exception!

Have to interrupt the FanstRAvaganza to spread the word that Scottish band Texas are back after a six-year hiatus. The new album is called The Conversation and will be released 20 May 2013. This is their eighth album since they started 25 years ago, and they'll be doing live shows in Glasgow, London and Paris when it's released. I. Can't. Wait. :D The Conversation Dry Your Eyes If This Isn't Real Detroit City I Will Always Talk About Love Hid From The Light Be True Maybe I Hearts Are Made To Stray Big World I Need Time We went to see Texas in Nottingham on their tour for the Red Book (2005) album. Great night, everyone was standing up and singing along with the familiar tracks. :) Red Book has some very good songs on it, and I have high hopes for The Conversation . Let's hope they do another tour!

THURSDAY On my mission to show 3" Thorin the sights of Nottingham, home of Guy of Gisborne, we have been to see Wollaton Hall, where Thorin suggested having some of the resident deer for lunch, and today, we've set the sights on the town itself. As my apparently too seldom used car decided to have very a flat battery, we had to take the bus in, something which 3" Thorin found very intriguing ... He thought it was a big, yellow dragon (is EVERYTHING a dragon to him?!) and we were transported in its oddly transparent belly. Just how do you explain the concept of modern public transport to a dwarf king from a fantasy world far, far away a long, long time ago?

WEDNESDAY So yesterday, 3" Thorin and I got talking about the lack of lonely mountains and dragons to slay around here, so I decided to take him on a tour of Nottingham, and letting him see the sights. Perhaps he would find something around here worth sticking around for, even if there's no treasure or glorious battles involved ... Here's how we got on!

TUESDAY Hello Thorin. Are you awake? I am always awake. Except when I'm sleeping, of course, but then I am still vigilant. One never knows when orcs might be on the prowl. If it's not orcs, then trolls, wolves and all manner of beasts that roam this land. What, like cats? Admittedly ... yes, fair enough, this version of Middle Earth is a little different than the one I'm usually accustomed to. Do you like it here? I was on my way to fulfil my destiny, slaying the dragon and reclaiming the Lonely Mountain for my people. Now I'm here , wherever "here" is, and I don't see any mountains, nor any dragons to slay. As far as I'm concerned, I have been taken hostage by powers far sillier than anticipated.

Welcome to FanstRAvaganza 4 here at The Squeee ! This week, I've invited a very special little friend - he's not 5 foot tall, in fact, he only measures about 3.5 inches. He calls himself Thorin Oakenshield. I call him 3" Thorin (Three Inch Thorin). For this week, there will be two kinds of posts: There is a lot of things you wish to get off your chest when you are the King Under the Mountain, and there are so many things you have seen over the years that you can offer simple yet profound advice to everyone else. This is what 3" Thorin is offering in Conversations with 3" Thorin .* This week will also see the introduction of Ask 3" Thorin feature, which is 3" Thorin's advice column that is meant to be a regular feature here even after the end of FanstRA4. Ask him a question, and he'll give you personal advice on whatever it is you want to know. It's 3" Thorin the agony aunt on Thursdays. To ask for 3" Thorin's advice