An inconcievable re-make THAT'S JUST WRONG!

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Hollywood's done it again, announcing a re-make of a film that is perfectly fine as it is: The Princess Bride. We've heard rumours of a Dirty Dancing re-make, and I think Top Gun was another one. And now, they want to bastardise yet another 1980s favourite that DOESN'T NEED A RE-MAKE, putting Paul Rudd in Cary Elwes's shoes. IT'S NOT ON. Just because you can't think of anything new to do, you have to go back and butcher innocent, unsuspecting cult classics?

"A re-make?"
"Inconcievable!"

Mandy Patinkin (Inigo Montoya), BLESS HIM, is not amused. I'm expecting Inigo to appear, sword in hand, saying words to the effect of "My name is Inigo Montoya. You're killing an awesome film. Prepare to die!"

[EDIT: Apparently, THANK GOODNESS, this was a false alarm. They were just gathering a cast to do a script reading in a library or something.]

So what other classic 1980s films could Hollywood's greed decide to fuck up re-make? Suggestions?

Here are some of my nightmares:

  • E.T. - The Extra Terrestrial
  • The Indiana Jones trilogy
  • Neverending Story
  • The Goonies
  • Breakfast Club and anything else starring Molly Ringwald
  • Ghostbusters (actually, they're probably plotting one already, or is it part 3?)
  • Poltergeist (admittedly, this film could be improved on ... but that would never happen, they'd just make it suck more)
  • The Star Wars trilogy, eps. 4-6 (aside from the "improvements" George Lucas have already implemented)

If they're going to re-make stuff, why not go back and re-make REALLY OLD films, like Gone With the Wind, The Wizard of Oz (properly, not spin-offs of various quality), Casablanca and the likes? Sure, they can't exactly improve on them either, other than make the special effects infinitely better, and there's absolutely no need whatsoever to re-make them for a modern audience, but if it was really old films like that, at least I could understand the reasoning behind it. (Should we count the 2011 adaptation of Jane Eyre as a re-make of the 1943 version btw?) This ... NOT SO MUCH.

Get the hell out of my childhood, you greedy bastards!

Comments

  1. mersguy23 January 2012 at 10:52

    Why do they do this, some films are classics and dont need a remake, please dont touch The Neverending Story and The Princess Bride!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Leffe23 January 2012 at 11:14

    They are going to release the entire Star Wars series but as 3D movies.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Traxy23 January 2012 at 11:31

    Yeah, but that's different. It's the original films that they've turned 3D, as would be expected by George Lucas. They've not actually gone and re-recorded the whole thing starring Taylor Lautner as Luke Skywalker and Kristen Stewart as Leia or something equally blasphemous. ;)

    3D Star Wars ... on the one hand, yawn, on the other hand, could be cool. But I already went and saw the "digitally remastered" ones when they came out, and I'm not a fan of 3D. Or George Lucas's incessant tamperings, for that matter ...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Faboamanto23 January 2012 at 11:33

    I agree with you! Stop all these remakes. What has happened to the film industry that they can't produce anything original.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Traxy23 January 2012 at 11:46

    Who knows? There are plenty of excellent novels out there that would be great to see on screen!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jagreensmith23 January 2012 at 13:36

    Inconceivable is right!

    ReplyDelete

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